December can be a difficult time for non-believers in Christian majority countries. There’s the usual stress of buying gifts and hosting dinner parties, plus all the extra work involved in waging war against Christmas. On top of all that, many of us come from Christian families, so this time of year can be a complex balancing act between our lack of belief and the feelings of those we love.

Given this, it’s not surprising that some non-believers might reach out to advice columns for help in dealing with what, for many families, has become a veritable minefield.

Today’s edition of Dear Prudence featured a letter from someone who is “not religious at all.” The author’s family isn’t particularly religious either or, as she describes them, CEO (Christmas and Easter only) Catholics. Not only does she feel like a hypocrite attending mass as a non-believer, she also feels that it wouldn’t be too much to ask for her family to spend their time together rather than going to church.

Prudie advises this ex-Catholic to show up anyway and make her mother happy, unless it violates a principle she holds sacred:

Your parents may show up at church only twice a year, but on those rare occasions, your mother is simply not going to think that staying home and playing Parcheesi is an appropriate substitute. You’ve got the wrong idea about your hypocrisy in going to Mass even though you’re not religious. If no hypocrites entered places of worship, attendance would plummet. If you go, it’s perfectly fine for you to get lost in daydreams, or to think, “I do like the music, but the rest of it is a load of hooey.” Going to church on Christmas and Easter is meaningful to your mother, so you don’t have to call her out because she’s getting a pedicure the other 50 weekends a year. You can view accompanying your parents as a matter of honoring people you love. If you decide setting foot in church is a violation of some principles you hold sacred, then without making a big deal about it say, “Mom, I’m sorry, I’m just exhausted and I’m going to stay put on the couch this year. Thanks for understanding.” But it sounds as if you’re more flexible than that. While the religious “aerobics” won’t do much for your body or soul, the warm feeling it will give your mother if you go will make this workout worthwhile.

If you have religious family members, how do you deal with religion over the holidays?